What do you mean you were offside? The ref didn't whistle - get on with it!

Educating young players on the intricacies of the offside rule

You should have gone to SpecSavers

A masterclass in how to extract a yellow card from a (bespectacled) referee at U9 level.

If our team is capable of beating them, then we’ll win

Advanced Wilmslow Town Management Logic

Come on boys! You’re playing like a bunch of 8-year-olds!

Harsh criticism from the manager of the opposing, erm, U9s

Oh no! I think that's hit him straight in the love spuds!

An outpouring of sympathy from a concerned manager as his player is hit by the ball most painfully

I think I just saw a smile on Archies face. No, it must have been wind...

Wilmslow Town - firmly committed to monitoring child welfare

Come on lads. I know we’re cr@p but that’s no reason to just give in!

When your team goes 8-0 down, alternative motivational techniques are called for

Ref! Hang on. We can't start the match, he's left his balls on the pitch!

Carelessness or a show of absolute commitment? We'll never know.

See, your Mum knows more about football than you do!

A Wilmslow Town U11 player gains some consolation in defeat, not missing the opportunity when he hears one of the opposition's mothers putting her son straight on the offside rule.

Can we put another one on?

When you're 6-0 down and the ref points out that your 7-a-side team has played the last ten minutes with 8 players on the pitch, there's no harm in asking

If you want the ball, shout for it.... scream for it because, your team mates aren’t tele-pathetic!

Assistant Manager’s post training instruction for the team for Sunday’s game . . .