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At Pitchside, we are looking to collect humorous quotes from managers, players, referees and spectators at any of our games. If you have a quote that you'd like to share, please click here to email it to Pitchside now.

Joel, Stick with him!

Sound U9 defensive advice from Dad? At any level, man-marking strikers as they are leaving the pitch to be substituted is just a little too keen.

If our team is capable of beating them, then weíll win

Advanced Wilmslow Town Management Logic

I think I just saw a smile on Archies face. No, it must have been wind...

Wilmslow Town - firmly committed to monitoring child welfare

You should have gone to SpecSavers

A masterclass in how to extract a yellow card from a (bespectacled) referee at U9 level.

Come on boys! Youíre playing like a bunch of 8-year-olds!

Harsh criticism from the manager of the opposing, erm, U9s

Come on lads. I know weíre cr@p but thatís no reason to just give in!

When your team goes 8-0 down, alternative motivational techniques are called for

If you want the ball, shout for it.... scream for it because, your team mates arenít tele-pathetic!

Assistant Managerís post training instruction for the team for Sundayís game . . .

Can we put another one on?

When you're 6-0 down and the ref points out that your 7-a-side team has played the last ten minutes with 8 players on the pitch, there's no harm in asking

What do you mean you were offside? The ref didn't whistle - get on with it!

Educating young players on the intricacies of the offside rule

See, your Mum knows more about football than you do!

A Wilmslow Town U11 player gains some consolation in defeat, not missing the opportunity when he hears one of the opposition mothers putting her son straight on the offside rule.

Ref! Hang on. We can't start the match, he's left his balls on the pitch!

Carelessness or a show of absolute commitment? We'll never know.

Oh no! I think that's hit him straight in the love spuds!

An outpouring of sympathy from a concerned manager as his player is hit by the ball most painfully

Come on Callum! If that ball was a girl you'd still be chasing it

Suggesting that appropriate effort is conditional to circumstance

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